One: The People.
Ergh. With their nice welcoming smiles and their hospitable nature. Saying hello every time you walk past them. Who needs friendly faces when you're on holiday? I much prefer mean, unhelpful people. I just don't like having to say thank you to all of these people for their great service and friendly presence.
Two: The Food.
Big portions and fresh food at almost every restaurant? My stomach needs processed crap to survive. Also, Caribbean Chicken or Beef Roti, curry chicken, rice and peas, macaroni and cheese? All of the foods I hate in one place. Isn't it so much better to eat out at McDonalds every single day? And on that note... They don't even have a McDonalds, just this place called Chefette that serves up amazing... oops. I meant, horrible fried chicken and roti. Then there's Just Grillin' which has fresh BBQ foods or any of the shacks along the beach serving up fish fritters. FISH FRITTERS? Why can't you just give me a soggy sandwich to go... Even the nicer restaurants like The Cliff which overlooks a cove, have desserts which just make you think.. "is this really what you want me to eat?" strawberries and cream in a meringue ball, ew". I won't even mention Cin Cin By The Sea, The Tides, Tapas, Daphne's and all of the other restaurants to eat at. Also Oistins Fish Fry on a Friday, filled with people listening and dancing to music while you are forced to choose from an array of food spots offering fried or grilled fish. Is there anything more stressful?
Three: Beaches.
Warm ocean water and pink/white/yellow sand beaches. Sand in towel, hair and swimsuit, extremely annoying. Also, the water is so warm you can stay in it all day without worrying about freezing your butt off. What's a holiday without the shock of jumping into freezing cold water? Also the amount of beaches is just tiring. There's Brownes Beach, Mullins Beach, Accra, Crane, Rockley, Bottom Bay. Too many for my mind to process. Might as well forget about sunbathing and turtle spotting.
Four: Easily Accessible.
It's so easy to get around and see the island, by renting a car or doing excursions or even hopping on a reggae reggae bus that it's almost impossible to spend the whole time at the hotel. How can somewhere be so filled with activities and easy to get around? Atrocious. Having to do things like the Mount Gay Rum Distillery tour or watching a live England vs West Indies cricket match or visiting the Wildlife Reserve to feed monkeys or snorkeling through ship wrecks and with sting rays and turtles or even Harbour Lights which happens twice a week and is a huge party with fire breathers and carnival dancers, dinner and drinks included. You may even feel compelled to see Rihanna's house where she grew up or walk around Bridgetown, St Lawrence Gap and many of the other places which would just tire you out anyway. Too much activity for the regular person, right?
Four: Hospitality and Hotels.
The 4*- 5* hotels and resorts here prove to be mind boggling, filled with pools inside and out and rum cocktails on arrival. I just want a bed with a mattress but they provide some of the world's best hospitality and force their cleanliness, beautiful views and attentive service on you. South Beach Hotel located opposite Rockley Beach welcomed us with cool flannels and cocktails with an easy check-in service, towels, tokens to get beach chairs at the beach and a range of breakfast foods that changed every day. Who cares for all of that?
Five: The Weather.
Constant sunshine in the best/peak months. The cooler season runs roughly from December to mid-April when the weather is drier and less humid than other times of the year. This is the peak season or high season in Barbados. A winter getaway filled with sunshine? Winter is not winter without sunshine. The coldest days in January, for example, hit around 26 Degrees Celsius. Sunbathing and catching a tan in Jan? Who even does that?
If you haven't sensed the sarcasm by now then I must say that Barbados was beautiful, full of good food and just a great trip overall. We booked ours through British Airways -www.britishairways.co.uk.
If you are off the Barbados or have been before get in touch because I'd love to know about your experiences. Thank you!
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